I bet he comes in French.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
