I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize