thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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