Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's never too late to be topless.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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