once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
