I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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