So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
