im holly from the hills drunk
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
