Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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