wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Gay?
German.
Pity.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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