I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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