alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I am one with the molecules
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
