How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
