your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
