So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My dad just said "fuck circus"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
