i wish my penis had a tongue
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
