you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize