Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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