I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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