I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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