she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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