I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
