love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
