i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
