when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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