eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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