She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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