we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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