I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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