Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
