trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
