I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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