before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Drake has all the answers
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
