Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
