I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
