My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
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I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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