dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
