HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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