Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
