sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
