so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
