i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize