that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
