i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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