plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
