READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
