I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
