I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
