sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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