I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My penis needs a shock collar
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
