Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize