honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
