I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
