she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
