you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
