If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
